Teaching Your Child to Play

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KEY POINTS

• Play is one way that young children learn and develop. Your child needs 3 kinds of play: playing with parents, playing alone, and playing with other children.
• When you play with your child, it helps them learn to read faces, learn words, develop motor skills, and respond to what happens. You can start playing with your baby very early.
• Being able to play alone helps your child develop self-esteem, confidence, and the ability to stay focused.
• Playing with other children helps your child learn to solve problems and learn how to share and not always get their own way.

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Play is one way that young children learn and develop. Your child needs 3 kinds of play: playing with parents, playing alone, and playing with other children. No matter what type of play your child is involved with, make sure their play area is safe. Here are some ways to help your child.

Playing with parents

When you play with your child, it helps your child learn to read faces, learn words and numbers, develop motor skills, and respond to what happens. You can start playing with your baby very early:

• Play peek-a-boo or pat-a-cake with your baby.
• Surprise your baby. Make loud kissing sounds on your baby’s tummy.

As your child gets older, you can start rolling balls, playing with toys, or taking your child to the park to play on swings or slides. To help your child learn language and still have fun, point things out when you walk or drive. Point out and talk about the big, red, fire truck, the red sign, or the blue bicycle. What you say should be right for your child’s level of understanding.

For school-age children, you can ride a bike with your child, play video games, build a model, or play sports. Time spent together helps build a strong bond between you and your child.

Model the kind of behavior you expect your child to have. For example, if you would like your child to read more, read with your child and let your child see you reading. Show your child how to help you do things. If the living room needs cleaning up, invite your child to help before the family goes out for a walk or to get ice cream.

Playing alone

Being able to play alone helps your child develop self-esteem and confidence. It can also help learn focus and use imagination. When your child plays alone, check often to make sure that your child is safe.

Teach your child to play alone for longer and longer periods of time. For toddlers and preschoolers, playing with a toy, putting a simple puzzle together or building with blocks are good activities. For older, school-age children, reading, building sets, or hobbies may be best. Choose activities that your child likes and try to let your child play alone at about the same time each day. Set time limits on screen time such as watching TV or playing video games.

At first, your child may only want to play alone for a few minutes. You can help increase how long your child can stay focused if you make a game of it.

• Ask your child to play quietly for an amount of time you think your child can handle. Set a timer for that amount of time.
• At first, set the timer for the same amount of time for 3 or 4 days. Slowly increase playtime by a minute every week or two.
• Give your child brief love pats as often as possible during this time. Reward your child but don't distract him or her.
• If your child has a tantrum and refuses to play alone, try at a different time. It helps if your child is not hungry or tired when you want to teach something new.

Playing with other children

Playing with other children teaches your child how to get along with others. Children start playing beside each other at around the age of 2, but they aren’t good at sharing. They actually start playing together between the ages of 4 and 6 years. Here are some ideas to help teach your child to play with others.

• Call another child's parents and invite their child over to play with your child.
• Watch the play very closely. Teach your child rules about sharing, taking turns, and being fair. Be calm but firm when teaching rules such as no yelling, hitting, or pushing. Praise and hug each child regularly when they play nicely.
• Help your child learn to control feelings and think of others. For example, if your child is having a hard time waiting for a turn on the slide, talk about it with your child and offer choices. Suggest playing with another toy or doing a different activity until the first toy or activity is available.
• Be prepared to use time-out for behavior such as not talking nicely to the other child, refusing to share, or refusing to play. During your child's time-outs, play with the other child so that they aren’t sitting doing nothing while your child is in time-out.
• Have play sessions several times each week if possible.
• After your child has learned to play well with one child at a time, you can invite more than one child to join. You may also want to take your child to a neighborhood playground.

Play helps your child learn to solve problems and learn how to share and not always get their own way. Play lets your child see what happens when they take action. Play can build confidence, and it's fun for your child too.